A New Year - A Fresh Start

Maybe it's because I'm finally an adult with three children to care for, or maybe it's because New Year's Eve literally crept up on me this year (I even forgot to buy champagne), but I am actually starting the year off fresh! New Year's Day is always a great time to put irony to the test when we make fantastic goals to live better in the New Year but actually start the day off with a lack of sleep, in last night's clothes, heaving into the toilet and smelling of various things we're supposed to be cutting out of our lives, like booze, cigarettes, and farts. 

This year we adopted the one word resolution. I suppose last year's was SIMPLE. This year we casually, quickly, and without much thought chose MOVE. Honestly when we first said this word it was for the singular reason that we need to physically move to a new home. Super creative I know. But, our 800 square foot house that we have been living in as a family of five is beginning to get a bit crowded. While the size of our home has been instrumental in simplifying our lives, there comes a time when you really do start to covet your friends' two and three bathroom homes. Imagine a bathroom the size of a powder room with five people in it, trying to shower, poop, brush teeth, and get ready for work. We do this on a daily basis, it works, most of the time nobody complains, and I don't even buy chemical air fresheners. But we're ready for more, ahem, breathing room.

The more I've thought about it though, the more I know that this is the PERFECT word for our family. At the risk of once again putting my foot in my mouth, NOW I believe we are ready for the next installment in our God-given adventure. This last year while I was so gung-ho about changing EVERYTHING and ALL AT ONCE I was told to stop, slow down, and listen when I, well, maybe bit off a bit more than I could chew. We didn't have everyone on board yet but now, with our third little one, and a cat, our family is...dare I say it? Complete. At least for the time being. And now we can move.

Move: To pass from one place or position to another. 
Move: To advance or progress. 
Move: To have a regular motion, as an implement or a machine. To turn. To Revolve. 
Move: To prompt, actuate, or impel to some action. 
Move: To arouse or excite the feelings or passions of; to affect with emotion. 

Move: An action toward an objective or goal.

Here we go.

"Let him that would move the world first move himself."

-Socrates

Still here!

This is going to be a really, really short post for a few reasons. For one - I am literally about to pop a baby out of me. Ok, not exactly this minute but it could be any day now. And two - I smell hamburgers. 

I just wanted to check in so anyone wondering what I was up to would know that I'm still here, not totally slacking in the arena of simple (I am slacking quite a bit, though), and still planning on writing. But, aside from pregnancy and two other children to keep alive, I have spent the last three months literally canning and freezing and fermenting and dehydrating EVERYTHING I could get my hands on. Call it crazy nesting, call it regular crazy, but the amount of jam in my pantry is no laughing matter. I am now prepared for the apocalypse.

That said, I'm allowing myself to continue my writing hiatus until the first of the year or so, so that I can prepare for and bond with the new addition to our family without feeling pulled in too many other directions. Never fear though, I will be back, and with updates on our debt-resolution and the next chapter in our lives!

Hamburgers...

How to Make Yogurt - The Simple Way

My sister, God bless her soul, was the one who made me see just how easy making yogurt could be, so Emily, this post is dedicated to you.

Emily making something that is not yogurt

Yogurt maker, shmogurt maker. Cooler and a thermostat? Pshaw. I'm sorry but if I'm going to do something on my own, then it needs to not be a pain in my butt, and it definitely needs to fit into my life. The word "incubation" is an instant turn-off. If I have to buy special equipment, get exclusive mail-order cultures, or do weird dances and chants to get it to work, then I'm out. If it costs a ton more, then I'm out again. And if it's gross? Out. However, with yogurt, we kind of scarf it down, and it turns out that it IS easy, it IS cheaper to make, and it tastes, well, like yogurt.

Yogurt is AWESOME. Most everyone knows that it has amazing health benefits, and aside from probiotics which are widely accepted now as a total necessity in everyone's diet, yogurt is a great source of calcium and protein, it's packed with vitamins and minerals, and even some folks who are lactose intolerant can like, tolerate it. Sadly, most yogurt in the stores is either full of sugar or worse, fake sweetener, and if you're like us and prefer chemical and hormone-free food, the organic varieties are EXPENSIVE. In addition, we prefer full-fat to non-fat dairy for several reasons, so finding an inexpensive, organic, whole-milk yogurt, preferably from grass-fed cows without added ingredients...can be done...but the amount of money that you'll pay for it will make you laugh, and then cry.

If my kids and I ate one of these every day, it would cost us over $100.00 a MONTH. Four times the cost of the same amount of homemade organic yogurt.

For the price of a gallon of milk you can get four quarts of yogurt. Organic or not, there's no arguing what the better deal is. We drink raw milk when we can, but since my method of yogurt-making involves pasteurizing the milk first, I just buy organic whole milk from the store for this. It's even cheaper if you find milk marked down because it's close to the expiration. Once cultured, dairy products last longer.

I like to make my yogurt in the evening (another Emily tip) after the kids go to bed so that it's done in the morning, and so I don't have to worry about accidentally turning the oven on.

Note: I'm not going to assume that anyone reading this is a total idiot, nor do I like blog recipes with tons of stupid pictures, like me pouring milk into a measuring cup. If you don't know how to measure then please, continue buying your yogurt at the store until you learn. Ok, let's get to the point.

Homemade Yogurt    

(Makes 2 quarts)

Tools Needed:

• Measuring cups - I use an 8-cup glass one like this because it's the easiest
• Measuring spoons
• Pot large enough to hold your desired amount of yogurt
• Candy thermometer or any food-grade thermometer that will measure from 110 to 180 degrees Fahrenheit 
• Wire whisk
• Recycled yogurt containers with lids or, my preferred, glass mason jars, also with lids
• Dish towel for each container of yogurt
• A stove and an oven.

Ingredients:

• Milk (any kind will do, but whole milk makes a much tastier, thicker yogurt, and fat won't kill you)
• Yogurt from a previous batch of homemade goodness, or just any plain stuff from the store, as long as it says "live, active cultures." This is the one time I allow myself to buy the bank-breaker, pictured above.

Directions:

1. Measure 8 cups of milk. Like this: 

   

   smart-ass picture of milk in a measuring cup

2. Pour into your pot.
3. Heat on medium to low on the stove-top until the temperature reaches 180 degrees Fahrenheit (approximately 30 minutes, give or take). Whisk it when you think about it.
4. Once your milk hits 180 degrees, remove it from the heat (I like to pour mine back into the glass measuring cup at this point - it cools down faster and is easier to pour into my jars when the time comes).
5. Wait until the temperature drops to between 112 and 110 degrees Fahrenheit (this could take anywhere from one to two hours). 
6. While you're waiting, turn your oven light on to warm it up a bit.
7. When you're sure your milk is between 112 and 110 degrees (too hot will kill your cultures, too cold won't activate them), whisk in 6 tablespoons of yogurt. Here's a picture of me whisking my yogurt in.

   

   Me with a whisk. Amazing.
8. Once the yogurt is incorporated into the milk, pour into your containers, put the lids on, and wrap each jar in a dish towel (this is all of the insulation I give my yogurt and it's never failed me).
9. Turn OFF your oven light, unless your house is chilly and make sure your oven is OFF. Put your towel-wrapped containers in the toasty-from-your-oven-light oven, and leave them undisturbed until the liquid has thickened...into yogurt. It should culture for at least 5 hours, and mine usually takes between 8 and 12, again, depending on the temperature of my house. I'll check it before I go to bed, and if it's still runny which it usually is, I just leave it in there until the morning. If you're afraid you'll forget something is in your oven, leave a post-it note on your oven controls so you don't accidentally turn it on before your jars are removed. That would be bad.
10. Once your yogurt is set, like this: 
    
    leave it out at room temperature for 2 hours before refrigerating it.
    
11. Chill thoroughly to stop the culturing process, and then eat it!

Now, the actual culturing in the oven is where it can get tricky, which is why I was on the fence with yogurt-making. The goal is to keep your jars as close to 110 degrees as possible while the yogurt cultures, which is why yogurt machines are so popular, and why you hear words like insulate and cocoon and swaddle when yogurt making is talked about. However, as I played around with different methods, I found that I have the greatest success just sticking my jars, wrapped in towels, in the oven. If my house is colder, like in the winter, I'll leave the oven light on the whole time. In the summer, I turn it off as soon as I put my jars in so that they don't overheat. You'll obviously have to figure out what works best for you, and even with these simple instructions, that may involve a batch or two of runny jars or yogurt. Don't give up! If it's not perfect, it doesn't mean it's not edible. Use the runnier yogurt in smoothies or in baking and keep trying, because once you get this down you'll be empowered with a skill and will simultaneously be saving hundreds of dollars a year.

Ok, so I didn't go deep into the hows and whys of yogurt making, and quite frankly I don't want to. But, if you want to know the science behind it and how it works, I encourage you to check out Cultures for Health which has a TON of really great information, recipes, tutorial videos, and FAQs. They also have a trouble-shooting section if, God forbid, my method just doesn't work for you.

Urban Homesteading: Simplicity at its Best

Since we are from and currently reside in the Pacific Northwest, 45 minutes south of "Portlandia," the phrase "urban homestead" is basically synonymous with "backyard." I may be seeing through rose-colored glasses, but it seems that nearly everyone I know incorporates at least one aspect of this broad idea into their daily lives, and many without even knowing they're doing it. Urban homesteading isn't a novelty here, in fact, I would hedge a bet that the majority of my Northwest neighbors are oblivious to the notion that there's even a Wikipedia page dedicated to their normal, everyday way of life. 

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, urban homesteading is basically the practice of self-sufficiency, which typically enlists environmentally conscious and sustainable methods; a large part of this being urban-area farming and agriculture. Now, Wikipedia does lump squatting in as an alternative definition to this philosophy, so when I say that my husband and I have had a version of an urban homestead for nearly 9 years, I'm speaking of the latter. We are not squatters. 

Aspects of urban homesteading may include planting a backyard garden, growing fruit trees and shrubs, using a clothes line to dry clothes (when it's not raining here in Oregon), cloth diapering, knitting and/or crocheting, sewing, and reducing one's carbon footprint by being a one-car family, riding a bike, or using public transit. Don't stop there though. Collecting rainwater or greywater, making homemade cleaning, beauty and bath products, and even simply cooking real food from scratch deserves a place in my definition of basically adding a little bit of "country" to your rock and roll.

My family is especially fortunate to live in a region where so many people share our values; I think that's relatively rare here in the United States. In our community, for example, recycling bins come standard with garbage service. Many homes have chickens, and lately I've noticed several close to my own, right smack in the heart of the city, that keep bees. Preserving locally grown and harvested food in the form of canning and freezing is commonplace, and even drying and fermenting foods are becoming more popular in the general population. There are people who make their own soda, cheese, butter and yogurt (I will post how I do some of this soon). Homebrew is something you do on a weekend, u-pick means what it says, and even the neighborhood Costco has books on edible plants and foraging, specific to the Northwest. Ironically my husband is currently grinding flour from the seeds of some curly dock (some may refer to this plant as a "monstrous weed") that he noticed was growing abundantly in our backyard.

Some purists would argue that if you're not living completely off the grid, wearing only homemade clothes that you knit from the wool you spun from your own angora goats and rabbits, that you don't have a true urban homestead. Fine. I don't really care for labels anyway. I personally just call my urban homestead "home."And for our home, we do many of the things I've already listed, but not all of them, and not all the time (yes, I still shop at the grocery store) and that's sufficient for me. I'm not in a simple-living competition. I think a strawberry pot on an apartment balcony has just as much importance to the person growing it as a full-fledged farm does to it's seasoned farmer. 

But, I know you're wondering. Why do we bother? It's easier to grab a dozen eggs at the store than it is to keep chickens, and it's certainly more convenient to pick up a package of frozen peas than it is to plant, water, tend, harvest, shuck and freeze peas that came from your garden. Sure, many things that we do at home on our own are a little bit more labor-intensive, but at the same time, they're almost always more rewarding; sometimes in surprising ways. Did you know that just by growing an herb garden in your kitchen window rather than driving to the store for that fresh basil, you're actually helping to preserve our fossil fuels? 

"If every U.S. citizen ate just one meal a week (any meal) composed of locally and organically raised meats and produce, we would reduce our country's oil consumption by over 1.1 million barrels of oil every week." 

- Steven Hopp, "Oily Food," 

from the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle: A Year of Food Life.  

Multitudes practice self-sufficiency in the name of the environment (see above), others because they want to know exactly where their food comes from, many for the various health benefits that come with the territory, and some because it's trendy or cool, among countless other reasons. The main reason that we pursue a life of semi-self-reliance, aside from the pure enjoyment of doing something on our own, is because it's empowering. Every time we tackle a new project or learn a new skill and we're reminded of how much less dependent we are now on others to get through a normal day, well, it's worth it. I mean, who can say that it isn't even a little satisfying to be able open the freezer in the dead of winter and pull out a package of asparagus that you picked, washed, blanched and froze in May, so that on a cold winter's night, you could have a taste of spring, without going to the store? Easing some of the pressures of the oil industry is really just a happy side-effect for us. 

I'm convinced that we were made to work hard. But I refuse to accept that it was supposed to be in an office building. This is the work that matters. For me, the simple pleasures of harvesting food that we may have planted, but certainly didn't grow is the ultimate form of worship. There are very few things in life that allow us to actively participate in creation. Rather than just seeing the bi-product of man in the form of plastic packaging and processed food, we get to witness the Creator's authenticity in His provision, which gives us a greater respect and appreciation for nature, and deepens our reverence for Him.  

For some this idea is a novelty. For us, it's the norm. There are no rules to living simply. We are all different, but it doesn't mean that we can't all do something to get a little bit closer to this world that we were given. For those of you who don't see yourselves within whichever stereotypical subculture comes to mind when you hear the words, "urban homestead," I want to encourage you that any little thing you choose to do in the name of simplicity is good enough to count toward this so-called movement of intentional living. So go ahead, grow an herb garden. It might be the catalyst that changes the world.

Disclaimers: Life's Band-Aids

Disclaimer: 

All bets are off if you get pregnant while trying to do something mad like simplify life, get out of debt, and quit consuming. I mean really? Quit consuming? That's rich. Pregnancy ALWAYS wins. 

Baby Rhett

Hey remember me? It's OK, I kind of draw a blank too. I feel like I've been dead for the past three, no, make that four months and am just now experiencing resurrection. I've been either barfing or sleeping (thankfully never together) because it seems that when I start something substantially crazy, the Lord thinks it droll to jack up the straight, short and direct path I think I'm on with some rocks and hills and...scenery. It must be His way of getting back at me for the difficulty and unpredictability of my character. I think I must have been the last one to consider the possibility that I would get pregnant when we've been actively trying to do the opposite and UN-complicate our family's life.

Remember when I said this?

"As long as I remember to plan for the off-kilter days, things roll smoothly."  -Myself

Don't get us wrong, we're thrilled! But it was a shock, all the same, considering we weren't exactly being careless in the baby-making department. TMI? It's probably pointless to say then that I planned for one or two days, not three and a half months of anarchy. So naturally I've been beating myself up for losing steam like I said I was going to, for not being able to maintain my blog or keep a solid focus on our goals, and for letting my kids watch TV 5 hours a day. My husband had to remind me that the lack of motivation was because I was attempting to adapt to pregnancy-with-two-other-kids-to-keep-alive, not because I really just wanted to be a gratuitous patsy to Human Nature. Yes, I accept this alibi. 

That said, our spending did momentarily skyrocket. And by spending, I mean emergency trips to the closest Thai restaurant and pounds of chicken tacos from the local Mexican joint. There was a notable evening when I required that we pack the kids up at bedtime to drive across town to the natural food grocery store because if I didn't get every ingredient for banana splits I was going to die, and they had to be organic.

I think this is as good a time as any to throw another disclaimer out there that we are NOT legalistic, even though we do ask the hard questions, like, "do we really need toilet paper?" Regardless of our life choices on any given day, I am confident that the need vs. want dialogue is essential to have periodically, if we want to be aware of how those choices and actions define us. At the end of the day I want to be able to say that, "my choices today were intentional, and that sits well with me."

In hindsight it's easy to say that I feel God was telling (OK forcing) me to stop for a minute; He was slowing me down, allowing me to listen. I wasn't getting the whole message.  I have been seeking a new way of life for my family, but I haven't been fully seeking Him FIRST along the way. The control freak that I am, I usually try to take the lead. I was reminded that I need to allow Him to speak to me instead of just trying to guess what he's going to say. When I originally started writing, I was the first to point out that my initial desire to get out of debt was impulsive and was also almost instantaneously usurped by a stronger pull to a simpler life, with more freedom to just simply live. Obviously, this requires us to be free from our arrears, but I had such blinders on to this larger perspective that I only saw the one small element of not having a credit card payment. Re-calibrating my compass has begun to re-clarify our family's purpose and because of this, our focus has been able to shift to that bigger-picture idea.  

Eliminating our encumbrance to society is still a huge goal, and we are, miraculously, halfway done paying off our debt which puts us on target for blotting it out completely by the end of the year. But, this debt-resolution plan which has been our foremost project, is shifting out of the spotlight and onto the top of our to-do list as we focus on the bigger picture: freedom. We're once again seeing the details and promise in this radically straightforward concept of living a simple life, and since I've been on hiatus from, well, basically any kind of life, things are coming back into focus. After all, money isn't the only thing that encompasses simplicity.

Just as our family has been beautifully altered with the addition of one more, so have our dreams. So, forgive my truancy, but I'm back, contending with the feat of once again incorporating my blog into our ever crazy, ever evolving life, while also trying to remember to let the Spirit of the Creator lead us where He wants us to go. I am likewise praising Him that my goals now consist of more than making it to the bathroom before I vomit. 

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."

-Woody Allen

Two Months and Counting: 5 Things We've Learned So Far

When I first started writing about simplifying our life, TWO WHOLE MONTHS ago - cowabunga! - I was quick to say that we had no idea what we were doing, or what we were getting ourselves into, and that is totally still the case. Each day we face new obstacles; we have a long list of things we suck at, and an equally substantial one of things that we're better at than I thought we'd be. And all along the way we're learning stuff. Like kids actually do get tired of pancakes. Joshua turns inside out when he doesn't have coffee. Kitchen knives are only good for shaving if your end goal is death. Yogurt is easy to make. Spell-check thinks 'cowabunga' should be 'bungalow'. Shall I go on?

Sometimes cutting things out of our lives isn't beneficial, even though it may seem obvious

Like when I cancelled our Internet service to save some bucks, because we are capable adults and we can go to the coffee shop. 

It's genius. I can load the kids into the car and drive somewhere so I can unload them, buy a coffee, spill it while wrangling the kids to a table that's too close to the whispering couple next to us, unload the tablet, subject the entire store to the screams of Pearl when I tell her she can't play it right now, log in to the free-with-purchase WiFi, swipe back to the page I'm viewing each time Pearl swipes the screen, log in to the bank account, pay each of my bills, twice, because Pearl is clicking the buttons for me, scold Jude because he's under the table of the man in front of me, get nasty stares from the woman across from me who either has perfect children, or cats, finish paying my bills, log in to post my blog, stifle tears when Pearl deletes it, give up and pack up to find that Jude is now outside, drinking a frappuccino with lipstick on the straw that he found on an abandoned table. And all before lunch!

The gas, time, money and, ahem, sanity that I personally would have to spend at most places to get any work done negated the relatively small cost-savings. And although it really isn't a need, in this instance the convenience-factor is worth it for me. Then after all of this pondering, I realized that my husband telecommutes for his second job, so...Internet back on.

Being legalistic won't get you closer to your goal, unless your goal is to be an asshole

With such a stark contrast between our first month of rigid monotony that was quickly turning Joshua into a textbook "crabby old man," and our second month of, well, chaos, it was obvious to me that our third and subsequent months would need to be better balanced. I personally operate very well with an all-or-nothing approach to spending; it's easier for me to keep my focus. But I'm not alone in this journey, and as I've learned recently, empathy isn't my strong suit.

For my family, my husband especially, in order to to stay excited about this year of frugality, and for everyone to be successful in the lifestyle we're striving for, there need to be certain compromises. For Joshua, having a treat to look forward to every once in a while will keep him on the narrow path as well as in a good mood. For me, having very clear, set-in-stone parameters about exactly what those treats are is necessary to hold me accountable. Luckily Joshua is easy to please, so a treat for him might be a beer once in a while, or, like, a package of bacon. What am I, a tyrant?! I concede. 

I know we're not going to be perfect and we were never aiming for perfection. We're trying to look at the spirit behind what we're doing. Yes, we have goals and definitely need to be semi-strict with our spending in order to be effective in wiping out our debt, but not when it doesn't make sense. Bureaucracy is one of the things we want out of our life, after all. Getting takeout on a hairy day shouldn't be strictly forbidden, especially if it's the only viable option at the time, but it also shouldn't be the root of excessive online binge shopping. This isn't a social experiment. We want to make permanent changes to our lifestyle, and aside from the fact that it's completely unrealistic, denying ourselves even the smallest pleasures for the sole reason that it's 'the rules' we've established won't do anything but create resentment. We believe that life shouldn't just be lived, it should be enjoyed. And I like to eat ice cream sometimes, so sue me.

Our strengths and weaknesses can surprise us

Turns out that one of the things that I thought I'd have a terrible time at - buying piles of clothes for my children on every clearance rack I can find at Target - wasn't even an issue. I never thought I'd go a month let alone a week without entering that glorious realm. I know the store better than its own associates and I laugh every time they ask me if I'm "finding everything ok." HA! Buying things for myself on the other hand,  which I did have a slight episode with, was a surprise to me. It's rare that I shop for myself but it's not because I'm a martyr, it's because I cost more, and honestly don't usually have the time. But I've learned that in cutting unnecessary spending from my life, my affinity with getting a good deal has only increased. Saving money is even more important to me now, so when I see a great deal it's that much harder to resist. You can read about my struggle with this here.

Another weakness-turned-strength was in the kitchen. As much as I love feeding my family healthy meals, I hate cooking. Granted, I always end up trying to cook during the kids' witching hour. But before it seemed like it was at least once a week that I'd have Josh pick up takeout on the way home or suggest we go out as a family. And I'm a nutrition freak! Don't tell anyone. However, since we've been on our anti-spending campaign, we've cooked just about every meal at home, from scratch, and I've done a large part of that. I still kind of hate it, but what used to be a major weakness is now, at least, greatly improved.

Simple living doesn't have to equal inconvenience

I have what some may call high-maintenance children - I like to consider them well-attached. They love to be with me, and I them (most of the time). But I've found that the trade-off to spending less money is spending more time working around the house. Living simply requires me to do more things myself, and while cooking from scratch, making my own laundry soap, canning my own food, and using cloth diapers are all rewarding in their own ways, they can become burdensome if my kids want me and I am pulled in opposite directions. 

Luckily I'm finding the balance. Simplicity isn't always denying ourselves the luxury of convenience, it's finding ways to create that convenience ourselves without being dependent on the packaged, store-bought versions. As long as I remember to plan for the off-kilter days, things roll smoothly. Inexpensive foods like dry beans and rice save a ton of money, but only if prep time is factored in. Cooking from scratch is definitely the way to go, but only if there are quick and easy-to-prepare meals on hand for the wacky times. I mean, just because I don't buy freezer burritos doesn't mean I can't make my own to pop in the oven if there is pandemonium. A secret stash of homemade popsicles can also be life-saving when you just need everyone to shut up for a few minutes. 

millions of peaches

When we acknowledge our true needs, blessings are more evident

Do I think our former way of life was separating us from God? No, but I do think it was distracting us from Him. When we live cluttered and jumbled lives, it seems that we need God to be bigger, talk louder, and act more extravagantly in order for us to even acknowledge Him. I know that I've been guilty more than once of overlooking an attempt by Him to care for me which instead was seen merely as some incidental event that happened in the course of my day, if it wasn't missed altogether. I've found that as our life has been intentionally cleared and the excess continues to be weeded out (and believe me, we have a long way to go), we've been able to see more of the ways our God has chosen to show His love for us, and we've been able to give credit where credit is due. Whether it's in the form of a few bucks found stuffed in an old coat, or a dinner invitation on a night that there's no food in the house, we're beginning to be more thankful for all of those 'ordinary' things that happen to us, that are actually quite extraordinary.

Have you ever wondered where your loyalties lie? Do you want to know what drives you? It's a challenge, but try not spending money for a month. Money isn't just the sinews of war, it's the sinews of life, at least in the Western world. It can't be avoided. We need it for just about everything, both good and bad. When my family quit spending, it put a lot into perspective. We recognized things in our life that needed to take a backseat, but what was even more interesting was our discovery of the things that continued to motivate our spending, even after the purse strings were tied.

So, here we are, still learning, messing up and moving forward. It's both exhausting and exciting but my heart is still in it, which is, hopefully, a sign that stubbornness isn't my only driving force. Have you ever done such a thing? Would you? I'd love to know your story.

How My Bender Altered My Perspective

It's possible that we've experienced a small hiccup in our objective to fully eradicate unnecessary consumption from our lives. I've been pretty transparent this far, so when I say that we fell off the wagon, it's because I want my blog to be honestly written, not because someone caught Joshua at Costco buying pizza and beer. 

Say what?! 

It was late January and we had gone over a month without spending a dime on anything but two tanks of gas and minimal groceries, and I was fired up, man! We had made considerable progress with our debt, and I had already observed palpable transformations to our family life in just thirty short days. It was cathartic, to say the least.

And then I relapsed. 

It was one of those days when things just didn't align. We all have them, granted, but I'm pretty sure I have them more than most. So when Jude and Pearl required my undivided attention and the demands of motherhood came bidding, I put my children first, of course, but I didn't prepare myself to readjust for the "off" day. So at the end of it, yes, I had two happy kids, and I definitely consider that a win. But they were also kids up past their bedtime without dinner, and all I had on hand were dry beans and a raw chicken. And I gave in.

Enter Joshua the hero. The fixer of all of my mistakes. The one I can count on to look the other way. A victim of sublime manipulation. With dinner that I may or may not have influenced him to buy while we both talked ourselves out of talking ourselves out of breaking our streak of awesomeness. It was quite splendid. Never mind that Josh is lactose intolerant or that there wasn't a single logical explanation for buying an entire case of beer. Nonetheless, we had invited the possibility of failure in, and we reveled in it. 

The pizza was my gateway drug. A few days later I bought some yarn on eBay. I needed it to finish the shawl that I was crocheting, because everyone knows that I wear shawls. At the grocery store I bought some wine along with my staples with the excuse that I was going to cook with it. I didn't even drink it while cooking. Then I bought some books for Jude, which are educational, and they made me feel better about the wine. And then it snowed. 

Snow. My ultimate weakness. The reason they invented whiskey. A legitimate excuse to stockpile random crap, because who knows if this is going to be "The Big One." The weatherman might be wrong. It could be the end of the world. And don't forget all of the extra, non-essential, and therefore expensive groceries for our favorite late-night comfort foods. Because at our house, being snowed-in requires that our kitchen be temporarily converted into a gastropub. 

I was, by this time, in danger of completely reverting back into my old spending patterns, and Joshua wasn't complaining, because I was buying meat. Using the snow as an excuse for a vacation from day-to-day life, I randomly looked at one of my forbidden shopping websites that I hadn't so much as thought about since Christmas. Of course I was overwhelmed with sale after glorious sale. And I didn't have snow boots. Do you see where this is going? Needless to say, what began as an innocent and forgivable pizza dinner ultimately culminated in my purchase of a pair of boots that are, to be frank, never going to be worn in the snow. I knew I had gone too far. But with final sale items there are no returns, and in the words of John Lennon, "living is easy with eyes closed."

I have since gotten back in the saddle and am behaving myself once again, but that momentary lapse in judgment was a good reminder of just how easy it is to slip back into our old habits. In addition, it further strengthened my desire to be unaffected by the lure of material wealth (i.e. shoes), which I am not yet immune to, as much as I try to be. 

While we continue to make significant headway with our debt and unquestionably learn from our mistakes, the light in the darkness is that after only two months, I feel that my mindset has been permanently altered. Because although I still spent money on things that were far from necessary, I wasn't completely oblivious to it as I had been in the past. Does that make our little joyride ok? No, in fact it most definitely makes it worse. But I feel that acknowledging this also confirms the wisdom that I've gained through my trials, which rather forcibly establishes our carelessness in our financial affairs as past tense. Our days of feigning ignorance are over, whether we like it or not. And for that, I am grateful that I have these most excellent boots as a memento of irresponsible days gone by.

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me."

-Paul the Apostle

1 Corinthians 13:11 NIV

"For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her."

-Solomon
Proverbs 8:11 NIV