How Duct Tape is Making Me a Better Human

I just fell off of the toilet. 

Let me preface this by saying, two days or so after we started our anti-spending campaign, Joshua let me know that our toilet seat was broken. One of the hinges was in fact snapped off at the seat but, while it was a bit wobbly, it was still being held together for the most part. Since it was so early in the game we were adamantly against spending money for something so stupid. We decided that since it was still getting the job done, we'd just live with it and be careful until it completely fell off.

Apparently one never knows just when their broken toilet seat is going to effectively die. I'm thinking it's because most people don't wait this long to replace them. I was obviously unaware of its progression, and so while peeing and simultaneously trying to reach for Pearl's toothbrush (I like to multitask), I was thrown from my resting place, along with half of the seat.  

My immediate reaction as I was still flailing in midair, thankfully not mid-pee, was, ok this has gone far enough. I'll ask Joshua to get a replacement on his way home from work. The problem is that we have been living on a ridiculously small budget. So while we have money in our savings for the current bill we're hacking away at, aside from a true emergency, we're not supposed to be dipping into it. And we haven't! Not even for a bottle of wine. Insert sad emoticon face here. And that means that our budget for incidental expenses is shot until Joshua gets paid again. 

But come on crazy, it's a cheap toilet seat. Ten dollars isn't going to break the bank. You're getting a little too obsessive about paying off your debt. I know it's what you're thinking, because I said all of that to myself already. And as I was shopping for a replacement on Amazon, I was reminded how we got here in the first place. I mean, all of that little stuff adds up, and regardless of what it is, I can find a justification for buying just about anything. It's a superpower of mine. I knew that if I caved for this one thing, it would start a domino effect and before I realized it, the savings would be gone. Again. 

Quite frankly, I have a throw-away attitude when it comes to 'junk' that I've chalked up to living in a small house with a severe lack of storage. I don't like keeping crap around, so as soon as something isn't doing its job, it's on the curb and a replacement is found. I think "Hoarders" is one of the grossest shows I've ever seen. And until recently, I've prided myself on this ethos because I've considered it a way to validate my belief that we're not materialistic. So in attempting to prove that my money-spending habits don't stem from a temporal vein, I have, instead, been ignorantly demonstrating that I am exceptional at being lazy. Oh, and prideful. 

I don't think my attitude is any different than the vast majority of people in our country. Our reaction to practically everything in this culture is to spend, then think. Our first inclination when something breaks isn't necessarily, how can I fix this? More often than not it's how much money will it cost to replace it, and how quickly can I get back to my life? It's not the desire for that instant gratification that makes the consumer-driven lifestyle so ugly, though. It's the ridiculously narcissistic notion that as 'Americans', we're entitled to it.

What are we as a family working for? Freedom from consumerism? Or a toilet seat? I mean, hopefully my eccentricity makes the answer obvious. But I also couldn't just leave the wreckage at the risk of one of my kids falling off the pot, so I found an alternative solution. Duct tape, baby. It really works! I might seem cheap, and my toilet definitely looks cheap, but the goal of being debt-free is more important to me than appearances at the moment. And, added bonus, while we have a less-than-perfect-looking bathroom, I also get a lesson in humility. Take that, materialism!

(For those of you who may be guests in our home, please be advised that this is a temporary fix, and has been safety tested by a professional pooper.)

Duct Tape

Let's just be clear - it's life, I get it, and crazy frugality only gets one so far. No, not everything is under our control, and stuff is going to pop up that will probably set us back a few steps. I can't put duct tape on the speeding ticket my husband got last week. I tried, but apparently also can't put duct tape on the laptop that was haphazardly launched from a moving backpack yesterday. Warts? Yes. But being thoughtful with the things that we can control before making decisions to just spend, even when those decisions seem totally straight-forward, can be eye-opening. And aside from the obvious benefit of reducing the ridiculous waste that's so prevalent in our society, using our God-given brains once in a while is great exercise. And I can't help but think, if I could have just looked to my creativity before pulling out the checkbook every time I thought I needed something, how much closer would we be to the life that, until now, we've just dreamed of?

Changing the Rules

I just ate glue for dinner. To be fair, it was supposed to be pasta I guess? But Joshua didn't have all of the ingredients because our budgeted grocery shopping day isn't until tomorrow, so he improvised. A lot. I'm not complaining, au contraire, there's no denying who the better cook is in the house. I was actually surprised that his pasta paste didn't magically turn into "I have just made a mess in my trousers, this is amahzing," because that would by typical. But, come on, I'm married to a trained chef who thinks the best thing I ever made was a tater-tot casserole. I'm going to make fun of his food when it sucks.

Yes, tonight's dinner was pretty much epic. The kids laughed when we put their plates in front of them like they didn't know what to do with the food (?) on it. When Pearl held hers up at arm's length to get a better idea of exactly what she was looking at, it literally started dripping on cue. Jude was busy smacking the globs of noodles (?) on his plate with his fork and making some pretty convincing farting sounds while Joshua and I tried not to laugh and not to taste the food (?) that we were choking on from laughing. I mean really, how do you tell the kids to stop when you yourself want to know how well your dinner would stand up in a Papier Mâché contest?

Before all of this I would have been irritated and put out by a shitty dinner. Ironically, because then we could have and probably would have just run down to a local taco cart and gotten burritos to remedy the botched meal. But even so, I know I would have been unpleasant for the rest of the night because, well, it's happened before, and apparently I'm uptight. Can anyone say control freak? I mean why?! And here we are now with a completely unsatisfying dinner and no way to remedy it if we're going to keep ourselves on track, and I'm laughing about it. 

What changed?

When I look at our current situation I really don't see it as that extreme of a transition in any way. If you boil it down, we're just going without the extra. We're not suffering, we're not in poverty, we're certainly not martyrs. But before we decided to sever our ties from the self-centered way of life, I felt like we were all of those things. Victims of circumstance. We weren't in control, we were being controlled. And when everyday things happened that didn't go my way according to the rules of the world, I considered myself a failure. Whether it was a fried egg that I didn't cook to perfection, or a beer that wasn't quite cold enough, or a day with the kids that didn't have a perfect storybook ending, or a turd in the bathtub, or my house not looking exactly like one out of a magazine - I could go on - I managed to let the most ridiculous things ruin my day.

But when we quit allowing ourselves to be subject to society's standards, something shifted. We no longer have an obligation to the world or to its ideals. Our measure of failure or success comes from God alone. And because of this, life feels...dare I say it? Easier. It's as if a weight has been lifted and we're getting a little taste of the freedom that we've been pursuing. I'm not saying that I'm always cheery or that we don't have bad days, I mean, shit still happens. But lately everything, even when it doesn't go our way, has been just a little happier, a little richer, a little easier to laugh at. Because we're not bound by the rules we used to live by anymore.

Despite one sucky meal, we're together, doing something we're excited about, having fun, and making hilarious memories along the way. To top the night off, Joshua wouldn't accept that his pasta dough was unfit to eat, so while I was writing, he was in the kitchen, trying to salvage it and write a new recipe. He just emerged with what looks like a bowl of crackers and what tastes like "I just crapped my pants, this is amazing."

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

-Jesus

Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

~alternate translation~

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

-Jesus

Matthew 11:28-30 MSG