Yes, tonight's dinner was pretty much epic. The kids laughed when we put their plates in front of them like they didn't know what to do with the food (?) on it. When Pearl held hers up at arm's length to get a better idea of exactly what she was looking at, it literally started dripping on cue. Jude was busy smacking the globs of noodles (?) on his plate with his fork and making some pretty convincing farting sounds while Joshua and I tried not to laugh and not to taste the food (?) that we were choking on from laughing. I mean really, how do you tell the kids to stop when you yourself want to know how well your dinner would stand up in a Papier Mâché contest?
Before all of this I would have been irritated and put out by a shitty dinner. Ironically, because then we could have and probably would have just run down to a local taco cart and gotten burritos to remedy the botched meal. But even so, I know I would have been unpleasant for the rest of the night because, well, it's happened before, and apparently I'm uptight. Can anyone say control freak? I mean why?! And here we are now with a completely unsatisfying dinner and no way to remedy it if we're going to keep ourselves on track, and I'm laughing about it.
What changed?
When I look at our current situation I really don't see it as that extreme of a transition in any way. If you boil it down, we're just going without the extra. We're not suffering, we're not in poverty, we're certainly not martyrs. But before we decided to sever our ties from the self-centered way of life, I felt like we were all of those things. Victims of circumstance. We weren't in control, we were being controlled. And when everyday things happened that didn't go my way according to the rules of the world, I considered myself a failure. Whether it was a fried egg that I didn't cook to perfection, or a beer that wasn't quite cold enough, or a day with the kids that didn't have a perfect storybook ending, or a turd in the bathtub, or my house not looking exactly like one out of a magazine - I could go on - I managed to let the most ridiculous things ruin my day.
But when we quit allowing ourselves to be subject to society's standards, something shifted. We no longer have an obligation to the world or to its ideals. Our measure of failure or success comes from God alone. And because of this, life feels...dare I say it? Easier. It's as if a weight has been lifted and we're getting a little taste of the freedom that we've been pursuing. I'm not saying that I'm always cheery or that we don't have bad days, I mean, shit still happens. But lately everything, even when it doesn't go our way, has been just a little happier, a little richer, a little easier to laugh at. Because we're not bound by the rules we used to live by anymore.
Despite one sucky meal, we're together, doing something we're excited about, having fun, and making hilarious memories along the way. To top the night off, Joshua wouldn't accept that his pasta dough was unfit to eat, so while I was writing, he was in the kitchen, trying to salvage it and write a new recipe. He just emerged with what looks like a bowl of crackers and what tastes like "I just crapped my pants, this is amazing."
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
-Jesus
Matthew 11:28-30 NIV
~alternate translation~
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
-Jesus
Matthew 11:28-30 MSG
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